Dad Jokesby Joe on TwosI can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.Be careful what you do in the garden. The potatoes have eyes, the corn has ears, and the beans stalk.Don’t you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do.Just burned 2,000 calories. That's the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.What is the best thing about living in Switzerland? Well, the flag is a big plus.Espresso might not be the answer, but it's worth a shot.