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Surrounded by Idiots by Thomas Erikson

Surrounded by Idiots by Thomas Erikson

by Parker · 403 things on Twos

The Four Types of Human Behavior and Hoe to Effectively Communicate with Each in Business (and in Life)
The idiots who surround you are, in fact, not idiots at all. Instead, they are individuals worthy of respect, understanding, and being valued.
DISA—an acronym that stands for Dominance, Inducement, Submission, and Analytic ability—system. The world’s most widely used method to describe the differences in human communication.
This system is also commonly called the DISC system, where the final letter of the acronym stands for Compliance instead of Analytic ability.
Communication happens on the listener's terms
Everything you say to a person is filtered through his frames of reference, biases, and preconceived ideas. What remains is ultimately the message that he understands. For many different reasons, he can interpret what you want to convey in a totally different way than you intended. What is actually understood will, naturally, vary depending on who you are speaking to, but it is very rare that the entire message gets through exactly as you conceived it in your mind.
No matter what method you choose to communicate with, as an individual, you will always be in the minority. No matter what kind of behavior you have, the majority of people around you will function differently from you. You can’t just base your method of communication on your own preferences. Flexibility and the ability to interpret other people’s needs is what characterizes a good communicator.
You’re fine no matter how you’re wired. No matter how you choose to behave, no matter how you are perceived, you are fine. Within reasonable limits, of course.
Every person reacts in a habitual manner in similar situations. But it’s impossible to predict every possible reaction before it happens.
We often react in consistent patterns. Therefore, we should respect one another’s patterns. And understand our own.
We should learn to listen, act, speak openly, and reflect in order to do what is relevant right now. Everyone can adapt.
We should be able to observe and consider most forms of behavior without being amateur psychologists. Everyone can take note of the people around them.
Dismiss personal jealousy and complaints. Learn to have tolerance and patience, both with yourself and with others.
Children learn and develop in multiple ways, but the most common is by imitation. A child mimics what he sees around him, the parent of the same sex often becoming the model for imitation.
The DISA is on a grid. X axis is introver/passive/reserved to extrovert/active/implementer. Y axis is task-oriented and issue-oriented to relation-oriented.
Blue is analytical. Slow reaction, maximum effort to organize, minimal interest in relationships, historical time frame, cautious action, tendency to avoid involvment
Red is dominant. Quick reaction, maximum effort to control, minimal interest for caution in relationships, current time frame, direct action, tendency to avoid involvement
Green is stable. Calm reaction, maximum effort for connection, minimal interest in change, current time frame, supportive action, tendency to reject conflict
Yellow is inspiring. Rapid reaction, maximum effort to involve, minimal interest in routine, future time frame, impulsive action, tendency to reject isolation
Reds are natural leaders, take initiative, have big goals, and believe in themselves.
Reds talk the loudest, love competition, and are judgmental
Reds are very determined to succeed if the task is important enough.
Reds do not conceal themselves. They say whatever is true.
Reds intentions are never malicious, they just want to win.
Red work very hard, make quick decisions, and don't do anything they don't want to do.
Yellows are happy, well-liked, and make decisions based on gut.
Yellows have the most friends, are curious, keep in touch with everyone, and get FOMO
Yellows are optimistic and enthusiastic.
Yellows are creative, solution-oriented
Yellows are all about relationships.
Greens are the most common and are the average of all the other colors.
Greens are calm, leisurely, and easygoing.
Greens won't forget birthdays, won't take the spotlight, won't try to outdo you, and will never pester you with new and drastic demands.
Greens will not offend people if they can avoid it.
Green people are kindness personified. They are great listeners. They are team players.
Greens don't like change, but they will change if you justify the change and give them enough time.
Greens can get taken advantage of.
Greens do what they say they are going to do.
Greens are controlled by their desire to make those around them happy and satisfied. They also don't like conflict.
Hire Greens. They will do the job well. They don't have problems taking orders—as long as the orders are formulated in an appealing fashion.
Greens enjoy stability and a certain predictability.
Greens are great at keeping calm and carrying on.
Greens always put the team or group before self.
It's difficult to get a straight answer from a Green because they are always trying to satisfy everyone else.
Everyone else is more important. A Green never asks for anything.
Yellows don't listen at all.
Reds only listen when there is something to be gained from it.
Greens are great listeners.
Blues are a pessimist or realist. He sees errors and he sees risks.
Blues are reserved, analytical, and detail-oriented.
Blues just do their job and aren't worried about recognition.
Blue don't have a hard time making decisions, they just like the trip more than the destination.
Blues don't like taking risk.
Toyota has a policy that you must always ask “why” five times to ensure quality and get to the heart of the issue.
Blues are perfectionists and obsessed about quality.
Blues find it difficult to lie. They are open about faults.
Blues are calm and balanced because they keep tabs on everything.
Blues are introverts, they don't feel the need to be heard, they are active and thoughtful on the inside, being silent is something positive.
Blue are all logic, rationaliy, and intellect.
“Just because you're right, I don't have to be wrong.”
No one is perfect.
Communication usually takes place on the recipient's terms.
Good qualities can become drawbacks in the wrong circumstances, no matter what the quality is.
Reds are quick and more than happy to take command if needed. They make things happen. However, when they get going, they become control freaks and can be hopeless to deal with. And they repeatedly trample on people’s toes.
Yellows can be amusing, creative, and elevate the mood regardless of who they’re with. However, when they are given unlimited space, they will consume all the oxygen in the room, they won’t allow anyone into a conversation, and their stories will reflect reality less and less.
The friendly Greens are easy to hang out with because they are so pleasant and genuinely care for others. Unfortunately, they can be too wishy-washy and unclear. Anyone who never takes a stand eventually becomes difficult to handle. You don’t know where they really stand, and indecision kills the energy in other people.
The analytical Blues are calm, levelheaded, and think before they speak. Their ability to keep a cool head is undoubtedly an enviable quality for all who aren’t capable of doing that. However, Blues’ critical thinking can easily turn to suspicion and questioning those around them. Everything can become suspect and sinister.
Reds and Yellows tend to inflate their strengths and believe that they have no weaknesses. They have powerful egos, and a great part of their success can probably be attributed to the fact that they don’t get bogged down in faults and shortcomings but instead look for opportunities and good news. Clearly, this can’t be maintained over time.
Conversely, Greens and Blues usually exaggerate their weaknesses and in certain cases even ignore their strengths. The consequences are clear. When you give positive feedback to a Green or a Blue, they sometimes appear to be immune to it and change the subject to something that went seriously wrong. Obviously, this is highly unproductive.
Some people say that Reds are just belligerent, arrogant, and egotistical. They are perceived as unyielding, impatient, aggressive, and controlling.
Reds are more task oriented than relationship oriented.
Reds know just as well as everyone else that it’s wrong to break the rules; however, since it’s quicker that way, they do it anyway. Reds are notorious rule breakers.
Reds have no problem taking one or two shortcuts, as long as it’s about getting things done.
The desire for control is a phenomenon where an individual needs to have power over a situation in which either groups or individuals are present. Those who have control needs often feel extremely uneasy about having to adapt themselves to a group or a situation and will eagerly come up with various strategies to avoid this. A common form of behavior is to talk constantly, interrupting and ignoring others, in order to maintain control over the conversation.
Reds can probably be perceived as extremely overbearing, but it’s important to note they are interested in controlling those around them, but not in controlling every specific detail of a situation.
It is important for a Red to feel that he can influence what people do and how they intend to act on certain specific issues.
At the heart of this need for control is a belief that they know more than anyone else. And because a Red feels he knows best, he will keep tabs on everyone around him to ensure that they all do the right thing. The advantage for a Red is that he gets everything done his way. The disadvantage is obvious: everyone else feels controlled. Some people think it’s a good thing when someone else makes the decisions and holds the baton, but others feel limited and just want to escape.
Red means fast; Blue means high quality in implementation.
A Red’s “I” message occupies their minds. (They share this trait with Yellows, who also have strong egos.)
We know that being solitary is not the same thing as being strong, that we need one another to survive. Cooperation is the model, and I’ve preached this for over two decades. So we think it’s egotistic when Reds speak only about themselves. They make sure to help themselves before helping others. They are often willing to trample on someone else if they see an opportunity to advance themselves. They may not do this consciously, but the effect is the same.
Reds often come out the winners in discussions. They see this as a natural part of a conversation. They always know best and will assert that everyone else is wrong. It suits their ego to behave this way. The aftermath of this method is that they lose friends, people can dislike them, and they are cut off from information because no one wants them in the group. Once they’ve noticed this, they may well just decide that all the other people are idiots.
Reds are the ones who always believe they are surrounded by idiots.
It’s especially fun to ask the Blues. They will say that Yellows are selfish, superficial, and overly self-confident. Someone else will say that they talk too much and are bad listeners. Combine that with the observation that they can be distracted and careless.
When a Yellow hears these comments, one of two things can happen. Either he gets deeply distressed and genuinely hurt, or he sets off a ferocious argument. It depends. What’s striking is that, over time, none of this criticism will really torment a Yellow very much. On the one hand, he’s a bad listener, and on the other hand, he has what some psychologists might call a selective memory. He simply forgets the difficult bits, and with his positive ethos he finds it easy to say to himself that he doesn’t have any faults or shortcomings.
Yellows are very good communicators. With an emphasis on “very.” None of the other colors come close to the Yellows’ ease in finding words, expressing themselves, and telling a story. It comes so easily, so simply, so effortlessly, that you can’t help being impressed.
Yellows, especially those without self-awareness, don’t have such a limit. It would never even occur to them to wrap up; if they have something to say, out it comes. The fact that no one else thinks it’s important is neither here nor there.
A Yellow behaves exactly like most people—he does what he’s good at. And he is good at talking.
Many people become hugely frustrated by this limitless verbosity. It’s often perceived as egocentrism. The terms “windbag,” “verbal diarrhea,” and “motormouth” were more than likely coined with Yellows in mind.
Yellows have no problems delivering opinions, views, and advice regardless of whether they know anything about the subject or not. A Yellow has a generous approach to his own ability—when an idea pops up in his head, he simply opens his mouth.
What Yellows share is often completely unprocessed material that just tumbles out of the big opening on their faces. Sure, it might be well thought out, but it’s usually not. What’s most deceptive is that, almost without exception, it sounds very good. Yellows know a thing or two about presenting an idea so that it always sounds fantastic. If you’re unfamiliar with this particular person, you may very well take everything he says as true—a serious mistake.
Very often a Yellow is both entertaining and inspiring, and as I said, they can inspire people to new ideas. But should you get into a conversation with a Yellow, you need to be observant so that when he catches his breath you can quickly insert a comment. Or simply close the meeting.
A Yellow would hardly admit that he’s careless. But he has no natural way to keep track of things. He finds working in a structured way boring. Then you have to fit the mold and follow the template. If there is anything that Yellows avoid, it’s feeling controlled by fixed systems.
The solution is to keep everything in your head, which doesn’t work. It’s not possible to remember everything. So inevitably the Yellow forgets and those around him think he’s careless. Missed appointments, forgotten deadlines, and half-finished projects all because once his mind has finished the task he doesn’t go backwards. He goes forward. Leaps to the next project. Deals with other things.
Details. To complete a project, you usually need to be precise about details. Yellows don’t like keeping track of details. I would even venture to say that they’re not interested in details. They paint with broad strokes.
Generally, Yellows are very good at launching things. They’re resourceful, and with boundless creativity at their disposal, they can kick off various kinds of projects. But they’re not as good at finishing things. Finishing anything 100 percent requires an ability to concentrate that a Yellow rarely possesses. He gets tired and moves on. And so we think that he’s careless. He thinks that his work is good enough.
I have a few acquaintances who are hopeless at keeping time. They are always pleased and excited to think things up, but they are optimists when it comes to time. It makes absolutely no difference what time you suggest; they will not be on time. Seven o’clock, half past seven, or eight. It’s unimportant. They’re late regardless. And when they talk about it, they haggle down their late arrival from forty-five minutes to a little over fifteen minutes. After a while, they actually believe it themselves. But it doesn’t matter—the rest of us wait patiently because their presence will be the highlight of the evening.
We need to talk a little about Yellow’s inability to concentrate. He’s always prepared for new experiences. This is the downside to the incredible openness Yellows have for new things, ideas, and impressions. There are so many new things! And because “new” is synonymous with “good” for a Yellow, it’s best that something new happens all the time. Otherwise, our Yellow friend will lose focus. He can’t be bothered listening to the whole story, the background, and all the details and facts that may actually be relevant. It’s not interesting to him, and he will lose his concentration.
What does he do then? Simple. Something else. He throws up another ball to juggle. The problem with all these balls is that he might be able to keep them in the air for a while, but he can’t get them down into the right box at the right time. Instead, he leaves the room and the juggled balls tumble down right into someone else’s lap.
Yellows are like little children. They are good at testing the limits. They continue until someone becomes too angry and puts his foot down. And, of course, then the Yellow feels hurt. He just wanted to …
Yellows are not good at everyday trivial things like administration and follow-ups. As usual, most Yellows would contest what I just wrote. In their own eyes, they are the masters even here. But if we consider the ability to follow up, this could be a serious threat to the effective implementation of a project.
Following up on what is actually happening or not happening in a project is extremely boring. That means looking backwards; that’s dull, and it won’t happen. A Yellow can’t keep his concentration long enough to follow through. He would rather persuade himself that it’s important to have confidence in people and just trust that the project gets done.
Yellows aren’t necessarily more selfish than others, but they always seem to be. Why? Mostly because of their dialogue, since they primarily talk about themselves. And when other people are not sufficiently interesting and exciting, a Yellow will interrupt and guide the topic towards something far more interesting—not infrequently himself.
If a Yellow is anything, it’s a bad listener. They’re really miserable at it, in point of fact. Many Yellows I have met say that they are very good listeners—and of course supplied entertaining examples of this undeniable fact—but maybe it could be their memory that was at fault. Basically, they believe that they listen very well, but somewhere along the way to the brain’s storage shelves whatever they heard simply gets lost—poof!
A Yellow is often uninterested in what others say because he knows he could say it so much better himself. He doesn’t stay focused; he begins thinking about other things, begins doing other things. He does not want to listen—he wants to talk.
Yellows are also quite childish in that they only like doing things that are enjoyable. If a statement or story or just a normal conversation is boring, then they close their ears. If you can present your message in a more amusing way, he’ll at least remain seated a bit longer. Rhetoric isn’t the art of talking but rather the art of getting others to listen.
Many truly successful people in society are often better listeners than the general average. They don’t willingly talk as much as they listen. They already know what they know, and to learn more they simply have to hush up and hear what others are saying. It’s a way to absorb new knowledge. This is something Yellows need to understand better if they’re not to be perceived as completely hopeless—or just stagnant in their personal development. They must, for example, listen to the message I have presented in this last section. If they refuse to take it in just because it is a difficult and possibly a boring message, they’ll never learn anything.
Reds and Yellows especially have problems with what I call the silent resistance. Remaining silent rather than speaking out. Certain Greens, however, tend to tell the truth behind the back of the person concerned. Therefore, others can perceive a Green as dishonest, even though their intention is only to avoid conflict. In general, Greens always expect the worst and therefore tend to lie low.
Then we have the Green’s inability to change. When a Green understands the need for change but still says no thanks, that leads those closest to him to think that he is afraid of change, stubborn, unconcerned, and indifferent.
The difference between Greens and Blues is that while a Blue holds out for more facts about an issue, Greens expect everything to simply blow over, since they refuse to change their minds. They’ve made a decision about something and will not concede. Why? Because they don’t usually do that.
If a Green trusts in a particular individual, that individual’s word becomes law. This makes it easy to exploit Greens, because they can be a little naïve and gullible. And unfortunately, certain people take advantage of this fact.
Since Greens rarely make the first move and almost always allow others to step up first, you can easily get the impression that a Green is not especially interested or engaged. And often that’s the case. He is more passive than he is active, and this has an impact on his behavior.
While their Red colleagues sprint off with the baton, a Green just sits and waits. Often they’re waiting for the right feeling to convince them of an idea’s merit. and if that doesn’t happen, well … they wouldn’t do anything anyway, so they get what they want. Why not just wait and see if the urge to act goes away?
This is the paradox. The bigger the plans, the less likely it is that a Green will commit. All he wants is peace and quiet.
Lots of work is a Green’s greatest enemy, just because that’s exactly what it is—work. They live in a mind-set that everything should be easy.
Greens are reluctant to take a position on sensitive issues. They have just as many views and opinions as anyone else, but they don’t like shouting them from the rooftops. The reason is simple—it can cause a fuss.
For a Green, it’s better to be safe than sorry. By expressing himself ambiguously, he avoids taking responsibility for the matter in question. He doesn’t have to risk his good name if he’s uncertain. If he hasn’t taken a position in support of something, he also hasn’t taken any position against something.
Greens are not as task oriented as Reds and Blues. Greens don’t speak about facts in the same way. They would rather speak about relationships and feelings, which makes it more difficult to be precise. How do you measure a feeling?
Greens turn frustration inwards and feel awful so that everyone notices it.
Greens despise a squabble. This aversion to conflict also causes many other challenges, such as stubbornness, ambiguity, and resistance to change. Because Greens are pronounced relational people, nothing is more important to them than keeping a relationship together. The problem is that their method doesn’t work.
The whole point of the conflict outlook is to deal with every little dissentient issue as soon as it shows its head. Reds, and also some Yellows, do this naturally. When they see something that doesn’t work, they say that it doesn’t work. This means that problems can be resolved at an early stage. But you have to deal with the issue before it begins to stink. The conflict approach usually creates harmony. But a Green will just turn a deaf ear. He’ll do everything in his power to maintain that magical feeling that everyone is in agreement. It’s nicer when everyone agrees, isn’t it? Wouldn’t the world be so much better if there were no conflicts?
If there are any Reds or Yellows in the room, they will speak about their views on the proposal they’ve just seen. The Reds will love it or loathe it. The Yellows will speak about their own reflections on the proposal. One or two Blues might have a few questions. What do the Greens do? Absolutely nothing. They just lean back in their chairs and let themselves absorb the proposal. They say nothing at all unless asked a direct question. They look anxiously around, hoping that someone will say that this proposal is, in fact, an incomprehensible mess. The group is too large for them to trot out any dissenting opinions. To say something truly dramatic or negative would mean that everyone’s eyes will be on you, and that’s not going to happen. If they say what they are really thinking, a heated debate will erupt, and since a Green doesn’t want to take part in heated debates—he doesn’t even want to be in the same room as one—he simply keeps silent.
When Greens need to relieve the pressure of not speaking out, they talk behind your back. In small groups of two or three people, they will gladly vent their displeasure. And they’re good at it. As long as they think they can escape your gaze, they’ll backbite you in ways you would never expect from a Green.
Blues are perceived as evasive, defensive, perfectionist, reserved, fastidious, meticulous, hesitant, conservative, lacking independence, questioning, suspicious, tedious, aloof, and coldhearted.
Blues find it difficult to begin anything new because they want to prepare very thoroughly. Everything involves risks, and Blues can be almost obsessed with details. Never place too many Blues in the same group. They’ll plan into the next century without ever putting a shovel to the ground.
Blues are perceived as highly critical and almost suspicious. They miss nothing, and they have a tendency to deliver their observations in an insensitive fashion. They create quality work, but their hairsplitting, critical approach to almost everything lowers the morale of those around them to dangerously low levels. These are people who consider themselves to be realists. When they—in everyone else’s eyes—are, in fact, pessimists.
Blues want to have all the information on everything, and this can lead to problems with those around them. People who would be satisfied with good enough simply can’t cope with hearing all those questions and all this relentless poking into details. A Blue believes that good enough is never really good enough.
A Blue doesn’t need small talk. He can easily give the impression that he doesn’t care about other people, because he doesn’t cultivate any relationships. Sure, he cares, but his needs are on a different level than everyone else’s. He likes being in his own company and with immediate family.
A Blue checks everything one extra time because it’s possible to check everything one extra time. When everything has been confirmed, then you just have to make a decision.
People get furious when Blues, through his actions, clearly shows that he doesn’t trust them. The other tiny little problem is that everything takes a terribly long time. This can be managed by working more hours. What’s more problematic is the way relationships can suffer because of this habit. How demoralizing is it when you go up to someone to tell him about a possible breakthrough and the first thing the person does is isolate all the different components and call into question every single point?
Our state of mind, situation, and whether we feel safe or unsafe can have a crucial influence on our body language.
Shifty eyes generally suggest that the person in question would rather be somewhere else.
It’s said that liars can’t look you in the eye and they often shift their gaze to the side. But since this is commonly known even among liars, the worst of them have learned to stare you straight in the eyes when they are lying.
Someone who is repeatedly touching his neck is more often an indicator of a liar.
When something is awful or unpleasant, many lift their hands up to their faces.
When you need to think, you often close your eyes for a while.
When speaking, we usually either nod or shake our heads, depending on whether we agree or not.
When we listen extra carefully to a discussion, we can lean our heads to one side.
Hanging your head or wrinkling your forehead can signal sadness or depression.
When we’re amazed at something, we often raise our eyebrows, while we turn up our noses at things we aren’t fond of.
Limp and feeble handshakes often indicate a submissive behavior.
If a handshake is firm it probably suggests that a person is determined.
Clenched fists rarely mean good news, usually indicating aggressiveness.
Certain nervous people pick at their clothes, removing hairs or threads. This often indicates they would rather focus their attention on other things.
Holding your hands clasped behind your back often expresses power and security.
A more effective way to spot a liar is to notice if he puts the palm of his hand on his chest—preferably his right hand over his heart—and sighs indignantly when he’s been accused of lying. “Would I lie? How can you say that about me?” This gesture is intended to strengthen his honest intentions, but it immediately puts those around on their guard, because it is so unnecessary and excessive. There’s definitely something fishy going on there.
It’s very important that all people have their own personal space, as everyone needs an area that is his own. The personal zone is generally a few feet and the social zone is three to ten feet.
A Green who is unsure leans backwards. A Red who is unsure leans forward, as his way of dealing with this uncertainty is to try to dominate the conversation.
Reds keep their distance from others, have powerful handshakes, lean forward aggressively, use direct eye contact, use controlling gestures.
Red cross the square at a brisk pace completely disregarding the people standing in his way. With his gaze fixed on a point a bit in front of him, the Red speeds up and crosses the square without any problem. He does not give way but makes others move aside. His steps are decisive and powerful. He expects the rest of us to get out of his way.
Forget overexuberant smiles. His face can be downright grim, especially if you’re attending a business meeting. But even in social settings, Reds maintain some reserve. A Red won’t give you a big bear hug (as long as he is sober; under the influence of alcohol, anything can happen).
Reds point at people very readily. The notion that it is rude to point at people isn’t something that particularly worries him. It’s also common that Reds point at you by stretching out their hand towards you with the palm facing down.
You can also clearly see that Reds—of course they are not alone in this —are more than willing to interrupt you. They draw their breath continuously, hoping to find gaps in the conversation. If they have to wait too long to speak, they’ll throw themselves into the conversation with a loud voice and simply take over.
Reds tone of voice is often strong. We hear these people clearly because they think nothing of raising their voices to make themselves heard—as much as it takes. Of course, even Reds can be nervous and worried about things, but usually you won’t hear this. Their voices won’t tremble that much.
No matter what’s happening behind the façade, Reds will sound convincing. No stammer, no hesitation. Finger on the trigger. If we don’t listen, they will repeat it one more time, but louder. In the end, they always get through.
Reds are always in a hurry. Quick equals good. Normally, this even applies to speech and actions. Everything happens at a furious pace. Because speed is the factor many Reds measure success by, it will be all go. And a couple of sharp changes when the course needs adjusting.
Yellows are tactile, relaxed and jocular, show friendly eye contact, use expressive gestures, often come close.
A Yellow’s body language is often very open and inviting. Smiles appear constantly, even when there’s not much to smile about. They joke around a lot and can be very relaxed. When visiting a neighbor he doesn’t know that well, a Yellow may just stretch out on the sofa. But this is typical for Yellows. When a Yellow feels secure in any given situation, you can see it. He’s like an open book.
Yellows move quickly and quite distinctively. They often radiate a strong self-confidence.
Personal space is a relative thing for Yellows. While some colors don’t like having people sit too close to them, Yellows will willingly move up very close. Yellows can spontaneously start hugging everyone around them. Man or woman, it doesn’t really matter. It depends on what the feeling and the mood are that day.
But it’s not just that Yellows like hugging. It can also be a simple form of physical contact. A hand placed on an arm, a pat on the leg—with no ulterior motive. The Yellow just wants to reinforce what he’s said. What a Yellow perceives as something natural and spontaneous others can perceive as an invitation. And of course, it can end badly.
With Yellows there will be jokes all round and countless smiles. Eye contact is no problem; it’s intense, cheerful, and friendly.
A Yellow’s tone of voice denotes a strong commitment from start to finish. You hear it from afar: Laughter, fun, intensity. Enthusiasm. Joy. Energy.
Yellows show empathy very clearly. They’re with you either 100 percent or not at all. And this can be heard in their voice. It goes up and down; it changes tempo, vigor, and intensity. Yellows often have a powerful melody in their way of speaking.
Greens are relaxed and come close, act methodically, tend to lean backwards, use very friendly eye contact, prefer small-scale gestures.
Greens are often—but not always—sluggish in body movement. When they’re completely harmonious, they have a relaxed body language that exudes calm and confidence. No impetuous movements, no sudden tossing of their heads or hands. Nice and easy.
Greens don’t feel at ease in larger groups, so they become more closed and will appear reserved. Greens often have body language that gives them away. They try to hide their true feelings but don’t always succeed. If they’re out of balance or feel uncomfortable, it will be visible.
When sitting around a table, you can expect that Greens will tend to lean backwards. This is something of a paradox, as they don’t really have a problem getting close to people. Just like Yellows, they like to touch others. It’s fine as long as they know the person they are touching. Beware, however, of touching a Green who hasn’t given a clear sign that he knows you well enough. It’s easy to cross the line. They can be protective of their personal space.
Greens don’t want to be the center of attention.
Greens almost always have friendly faces. If not, then they’re quite neutral. Don’t expect any exaggerated smiles or overexuberant greetings. A little expectant, that’s it. But the difference will be huge if a Green knows you. If he thinks that you are good friends, he can be very intimate and friendly. If he feels that you have just met each other, well then, you just have to wait.
Let Greens come to you. Do not force yourself on them. In time, when they trust you, they’ll relax and become more natural.
A Green’s voice will never be strong; it’s not likely that he will drown out the group. You’ll have to make a little bit more effort. Even when Greens speak in front of a larger group (they may do this, if they don’t have any choice), they’ll speak as if there were only three of you sitting around the table. Sometimes it may appear that Greens don’t see the other hundred people in the room. The volume is generally low, and it can be difficult to hear what they say. But their voice will always be soft and radiate warmth. The pace will be slower and the variation not at all like when a Yellow speaks.
Generally, Greens have a slower pace than Reds and Yellows but not quite as slow as Blues. It doesn’t matter what the deadline is. The most important thing is always going to be how people feel.
Blues prefer to keep others at a distance, either stand or sit, often have closed body language, use direct eye contact, speak without gestures.
The easiest way to describe a Blue’s body language is to say that he has none.
A Blue doesn’t exhibit much movement or even temperament reveals nothing. In this case, it’s the lack of distinctive body language that tells us what we need to know.
Blue is an introvert, which is to say, most of his emotions simply operate beneath the surface.
When you see Blues speaking in front of larger groups, this tendency becomes very evident. Just like Greens, they have no need to be the center of attention. The difference, however, is that while a Green would like to sink through the floor, a Blue will remain standing. He’ll try to whip up the masses while standing completely motionless with a fixed face.
Another clue is that Blues require a relatively large amount of personal space around them. They often feel more comfortable by keeping others at a distance. Naturally, it depends on how well they know each other, but this zone is significantly larger than it is for Yellows, for instance.
If others come too close, Blues’ body language becomes closed. Both arms and legs will be crossed, indicating that they’re keeping their distance.
Blues move less than others. When they stand, they stand still. There’s not that much swaying and walking. They can very easily stand in the same spot for a whole hour while giving a lecture. When they sit down, they remain seated more or less in the same position all the time.
Blues normally look others straight in the eyes. They have no problem with eye contact, even if it makes others uncomfortable.
Though not exactly weak, a Blue’s voice is restrained and subdued. They don’t make much of a fuss about themselves. Their impression tends to be controlled. It’s common for them to sound very pensive, as if weighing every word before it’s allowed to see the light of day.
Generally, there’s little or no variation in a Blue’s voice. He sounds more or less the same all the time—whether he’s reading the TV Guide or giving his acceptance speech to the nation after winning the presidential election. Without much rhythm or melody, he just continues to say what’s on the script.
Slow. At least if we compare it to others’. If we take a Red or even a Yellow, he’ll speak at the speed of sound. A Blue has a completely different pace. It will take as long as it takes. Speed is of no interest.
You could conclude that a really good party consists of sober Yellows and Blues who are slightly under the influence.
You can always choose how much or little you modulate your behavior. The more you learn about other people, the easier it becomes for you to make decisions. Join in the game, or go your own way? The decision will always be yours.
In a Red’s world, everything simply takes way too long.
If there’s anything Reds dislike, it’s endless discussion. It makes them flip out.
If you want to adapt to a Red’s tempo—hurry up! Speed up! Speak and act more quickly. Look at the clock often, because that’s what a Red does. If you can conclude a meeting in half the time—do it! If you have a Red with you in the car, he won’t be upset if you’re a little bit over the speed limit. (If you drive too slowly, he might insist on taking the steering wheel.)
Reds are very much to the point, and they enjoy being with other people who also have the ability to tell them what they want—quickly. If you have a tendency to go around in circles before getting to the crux of the matter, you’ll have difficulty getting through to a Red. He’ll get tired if you waste your words without due cause. And he knows when he’s dealing with a chatterbox.
If you want to have a Red’s full attention, cut the small talk. It’s vital that you’re clear and straightforward. Determine the most essential point of your message and start there.
Stick to the topic! The easiest way is to prepare your case very precisely before going into a meeting with a Red. If, in the middle of an interesting discussion, another thought pops into your head, write it down and ask at the end of the meeting if it’s okay to raise the issue. Otherwise, schedule a new meeting.
For a Red, “speed” will be synonymous with “efficiency.”
If you begin a meeting with a Red whom you’ve never met before, nothing could be worse than asking where he lives, where he spent his last vacation, or what he thought of the game last night. Nothing could be more irrelevant to him. He’s not here to chat or make friends. He’s there to do business. Deeply Red individuals become downright irritated and aggressive when they notice that someone is trying to be friends with them.
If you have an opinion, out with it. Reds judge you on how driven you are. You should listen to them, of course, but you must have an opinion of your own. Otherwise, you’re weak, and that’s not a quality that will win you any points.
If you have a boss who is Red, he will work hard, maybe harder than anyone else you’ve ever met. He will have many irons in the fire at once, and he’ll have complete control over everything that’s happening.
A Red can live with the fact that everything won’t be right the first time. But he will demand that you work hard. You should be diligent in everything; feel free to put in overtime if you can. I urge you not to become a workaholic—life has more to offer than work—but from the perceptive of a Red boss, this would be a first-class quality. He will hold you in high esteem if he sees your commitment in the form of hard work.
Be willing to take initiative. Offer suggestions that the Red didn’t ask for. As usual, get ready for a fight, but he will like that you are driven.
A Red boss may very well like you—that’s sometimes the case—but don’t expect lots of glowing and pleasant praise
You don’t have to completely adapt to how Reds want you to behave—that would be surrendering.