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Relentless by Tim Grover

Relentless by Tim Grover

by Parker · 197 things on Twos

From Good to Great to Unstoppable
Don't think
To be the best, whether in sports or business or any other aspect of life, it’s never enough to just get to the top; you have to stay there, and then you have to climb higher, because there’s always someone right behind you trying to catch up. Most people are willing to settle for “good enough.” But if you want to be unstoppable, those words mean nothing to you. Being the best means engineering your life so you never stop until you get what you want, and then you keep going until you get what’s next. And then you go for even more.
Believe this: Everything you need to be great is already inside you. All your ambitions and secrets, your darkest dreams . . . they’re waiting for you to just let go.
Decide. Commit. Act. Succeed. Repeat.
Being relentless means demanding more of yourself than anyone else could ever demand of you, knowing that every time you stop, you can still do more. You must do more.
If you want to be truly successful, you can’t be content with “pretty good.” You need to find an extra gear.
Trust who you already are, and get to that Zone where you can shut out all the noise, all the negativity and fear and distractions and lies, and achieve whatever you want, in whatever you do.
Whether you know it or not, you do have a dark side. Use it well and it can be your greatest gift.
If you’re aiming to be the best at what you do, you can’t worry about whether your actions will upset other people, or what they’ll think of you.
From this point, your strategy is to make everyone else get on your level; you’re not going down to theirs. You’re not competing with anyone else, ever again. They’re going to have to compete with you. From now on, the end result is all that matters.
When the boss shows his frustration in meetings or snaps at his employees. He’s not confident, he’s not cool, he’s not on his game, and it comes out in little ways he might think no one else perceives. But you can be sure everyone picks up on it and panics.
Sometimes you need to step away and get back to that calm, cool place where you’re in total control.
Get back in the Zone, that deeply personal space where you can quiet your mind until you have no thoughts, it’s just you and your instincts, focused and unemotional. Where you feel no external pressure, just the internal pressure to prove yourself, over and over, because you want it for yourself, not anyone else.
Forget about losing. Forget about trying, because if you’re just trying, then losing is still an option. You want to be the best? Then you ignore the pain and the exhaustion and the pressure to please everyone else. You don’t let your enemies take your balls, you don’t let them set up shop in your head. When all hell breaks loose on the outside, you barely notice; you’re calm on the inside because you’re ready, prepared, and the best at what you do. You don’t tell anyone how you’re going to handle the situation, you just handle it. Everyone else is panicking and choking, and you say, ‘No problem.’ You step on the other guy’s throat, and you finish the fight. And afterward you don’t explain how you did it. They won’t understand, and they don’t have to. Just take a moment alone to recognize what you accomplished, and move on to the next challenge.
Everything is impossible until someone does it.
Michael wasn’t the best because he could fly through the air and make impossible shots; he was the best because he was relentless about winning, relentless in his belief that there’s no such thing as “good enough.” No matter how many times he won, no matter how great he became, he always wanted more, and he was always willing to do whatever it took—and then some—to get it.
Relentless is about never being satisfied, always driving to be the best, and then getting even better. It’s about finding the gear that gets you to the next level . . . even when the next level doesn’t yet exist. It’s about facing your fears, getting rid of the poisons that guarantee you will fail. Being feared and respected for your mental strength and toughness, not just your physical abilities.
The cleaner you are, the dirtier you get
If you think old, you become old.
In order to have what you really want, you must first be who you really are.
Being relentless means never being satisfied. It means creating new goals every time you reach your personal best. If you’re good, it means you don’t stop until you’re great. If you’re great, it means you fight until you’re unstoppable.
Michael Jordan never cared about achieving mere greatness. He cared about being the best. Ever.
Greatness makes you a legend; being the best makes you an icon. If you want to be great, deliver the unexpected. If you want to be the best, deliver a miracle.
Champions put people in place to get results and make everyone else around them look better.
A Cleaner’s attitude can be summed up in three words: I own this. He walks in with confidence and leaves with results. A Cleaner has the guts and the vision to steer everything to his advantage. You never know what he’s going to do, but you know something’s coming and all you can do is wait and watch, with fear and respect for his ability to handle anything without discussion or analysis. He just knows.
Cleaners don’t do it for show, they don’t go through the motions. A true Cleaner never tells you what he’s doing or what he’s planning. You find out after the job is complete. And by the time you realize what he’s accomplished, he’s already moved on to the next challenge.
Why do I call them Cleaners? Because they take responsibility for everything. When something goes wrong, they don’t blame others because they never really count on anyone else to get the job done in the first place. They just clean up the mess and move on.
The money is secondary to what really drives him, because here’s the most important thing about a Cleaner, the one thing that defines and separates him from any other competitor: He’s addicted to the exquisite rush of success. His lust for it is so powerful, the craving is so intense, that he’ll alter his entire life to get it. And it’s still never enough. As soon as he feels it, tastes it, holds it . . . the moment is over and he craves more.
A Cleaner is never, ever, content.
You can’t be unstoppable in your career and your relationships and your other interests, because achieving excellence in any one of those areas requires you to say, “I don’t give a damn about anything else.”
True Cleaners don’t care about the bling and the showy lifestyle; they look at the bottom line. All that matters is the end result, not the instant gratification along the way.
If you want to be the very best of the best, it’s the details that make the difference.
Coolers, Closers, and Cleaners. Good, Great, and Unstoppable.
A Cooler is careful; he waits to be told what to do, watches to see what everyone else is doing, and then follows the leader. He’s a mediator, not a decision-maker; he’s not taking sides unless he’s forced to. He can handle a certain amount of pressure when things are going well, but when things get too intense, he kicks the problem over to someone else.
A Closer can handle a lot of pressure; he’ll get the job done if you put him in the right situation and tell him exactly what you need him to do. He’ll study all sorts of scenarios so he can anticipate what might happen, but he’s uncomfortable when faced with something unexpected. He seeks attention and credit, and he’s very aware of what everyone else is doing and what others think of him. He loves the rewards and perks associated with his fame and would choose financial security over winning or success.
The Closer can win the game if given the opportunity, but the Cleaner creates the opportunity. The Closer can be the star, but the Cleaner maneuvered him into the job. Cleaners never need a kick in the ass. Everyone else does.
THE RELENTLESS 13
When You’re a Cleaner . . .
#1. You keep pushing yourself harder when everyone else has had enough.
#1. You get into the Zone, you shut out everything else, and control the uncontrollable.
#1. You know exactly who you are.
#1. You have a dark side that refuses to be taught to be good.
#1. You’re not intimidated by pressure, you thrive on it.
#1. When everyone is hitting the “In Case of Emergency” button, they’re all looking for you.
#1. You don’t compete with anyone, you find your opponent’s weakness and you attack.
#1. You make decisions, not suggestions; you know the answer while everyone else is still asking questions.
#1. You don’t have to love the work, but you’re addicted to the results.
#1. You’d rather be feared than liked.
#1. You trust very few people, and those you trust better never let you down.
#1. You don’t recognize failure; you know there’s more than one way to get what you want.
#1. You don’t celebrate your achievements because you always want more.
#1. When you're a cleaner... you keep pushing yourself harder when everyone else has had enough.
Those who talk don’t know, and those who know don’t talk.
Your ultimate power source will come from the neck up, not the neck down.
Get your mind strong, so your body can follow.
The true measure of an individual is determined by what you can’t measure—the intangibles. Anyone can measure weight, height, physical strength, speed . . . but you can’t measure commitment, persistence, or the instinctive power of the muscle in your chest, your heart.
The true work begins with understanding what you want to achieve and knowing what you're willing to endure to get it.
When I train my athletes, it’s a dictatorship with three rules: show up, work hard, and listen.
Most people have too many options, and they rarely choose the tougher one. Do you want to work out for ninety minutes or thirty minutes? Most people take the thirty minutes. Here, try this, but if it’s too hard, we can make it easier. And they automatically make it easier. So I’m not giving you options. Nothing for you to think about. Let me do all the thinking for both of us. I’m making your life easy by doing all the homework and giving you the answers to the test. Just show up, work hard, and listen. That’s your part of the deal. Do the work.
Do. The. Work. Every day, you have to do something you don’t want to do. Every day. Challenge yourself to be uncomfortable, push past the apathy and laziness and fear. Otherwise, the next day you’re going to have two things you don’t want to do, then three and four and five, and pretty soon, you can’t even get back to the first thing. And then all you can do is beat yourself up for the mess you’ve created, and now you’ve got a mental barrier to go along with the physical barriers.
Cleaners do the hardest things first, just to show there’s no task too big. They might not be happy about it, they don’t ever love it, but they’re always thinking about the destination, not the bumpy road that takes them there.
Yes, I know it’s uncomfortable. I’m not telling you to love it. I’m telling you to crave the result so intensely that the work is irrelevant.
No trainer or coach or expert can make you good or great or unstoppable if you’re not going to do the work, if you’re waiting for someone to make it happen for you. It’s on you.
You control your body, it does not control you. You shut out the fear and emotion and physical stress and you do the thing you dread. You don’t go through the motions and watch the clock until it’s over. You invest in what you started, pushing yourself again and again beyond where you’ve already been.
If you do what you always do, over and over, you’re always going to get the same result.
When Kobe suffered a broken nose and a concussion in the All-Star Game, he was insistent on playing in the Lakers’ next game. Why? He had to know how his body would respond to the trauma, and what he was capable of doing under those circumstances. Few people know what they’re truly able to accomplish, and even fewer want to find out.
Ask yourself where you are now, and where you want to be instead. Ask yourself what you’re willing to do to get there. Then make a plan to get there. Act on it.
You can work out at home, but if whatever you’re doing makes you feel “comfort,” something is very wrong.
If you can choose between being uncomfortable because you’re overweight and sick, or uncomfortable because you’re sweating at the gym three times a week, why do so many people choose the discomfort that leads to complete physical failure?
#1. When you're a cleaner... you get into the zone, shut out everything else, and control the uncontrollable.
A Cooler gets everyone cranked up and emotional before the game.
A Closer gets himself cranked up and emotional before the game.
A Cleaner never gets cranked up or emotional; he stays cool and calm and saves it all for game time.
In the Zone the only sensation is anger, a quiet, icy anger simmering under your skin . . . never rage, never out of control.
It’s ultimately your mental focus and concentration, your ability to control your environment and the heartbeats of others, that determines whether you succeed or fail.
As soon as you allow others to push your buttons, they’ve won.
A Cleaner is never going to stand up in front waving a towel; he’s down at the end, alone, focused and unemotional. At a critical moment when everyone gets too pumped up and overheated, he’s the guy telling everyone else to keep it cool.
You know you’re in the Zone but you can’t think about it, because thinking is a distraction.
Emotions make you weak.
Controlled anger is a deadly weapon, in the right hands. All Cleaners have that slow-burning, blue-hot internal anger, and it works if they can control and maintain it. But it never becomes blind rage, and it’s never allowed to become destructive.
#1. When you're a cleaner... you know exactly who you are.
A Cooler thinks about what he’s supposed to think about.
A Closer thinks, analyzes, and eventually he acts.
A Cleaner doesn’t think at all, he just knows.
Everything you need is already inside you. You are completely wired with instincts and reflexes specifically designed so you can survive and succeed. You don’t have to think about using them, they’re always working.
Whether you’re playing a sport or running a business, it’s the same concept. You don’t need to schedule a meeting to discuss a decision; you just make the decision. Your instincts become so finely tuned that you have a reflexive response that allows you to attack without thinking.
Real learning doesn’t mean clinging to the lessons. It means absorbing everything you can and then trusting yourself to use what you know instantaneously, without thinking. Instinctive, not impulsive . . . quick, not hurried. Knowing without a doubt that all the hours of work have created an unstoppable internal resource you can draw on in any situation.
Larry Bird in the 1988 All-Star Game Three-Point Contest against Dale Ellis
“Every right decision I’ve ever made has come from my gut, and every wrong decision I’ve ever made was a result of me not listening.” - Oprah Winfrey
A Closer thinks about what he wants; a Cleaner feels it. A Closer tells his heart what he wants the outcome to be; a Cleaner’s heart decides on its own, he never has to think about it. Total confidence in his gut.
#1. When you're a cleaner... you have a dark side that refuses to be taught to be good.
If you want to climb out of your rut and get up to the next level, you have to leave your baggage behind.
It’s the ability to voluntarily or involuntarily drop all the bullshit and inhibitions and allow yourself to just do what you do, the way you want to do it, performing instinctively at the most extraordinary level. No fear, no limitation. Just action and results.
Staying safe means being limited, and you can’t be limited if you’re going to be relentless.
A Cleaner controls his urges, not the other way around. The dark side isn’t about taking stupid risks and getting in trouble; that would show weakness. You can feel your desires and act on them, or not act on them; your self-control is what distinguishes you from everyone else.
With everyone watching and judging and analyzing every detail of his private life, that dark side evaporated; that kind of energy simply can’t survive in the light. It completely loses its power, unless you’re willing to stand up and say, “Yeah, so what?” and go right on doing whatever you were doing.
That’s what the dark side does: it shuts down the laws of right and wrong and allows you to discover what you’re really made of, what you’re capable of doing.
A Cleaner doesn’t want to give up the thing you disapprove of. To him, it’s not a weakness, it’s his strength, his choice. Weakness would mean giving up what he craved because he was afraid of getting caught.
Would you be as successful if you followed all the rules and always behaved and never took chances? No, you’d be just like everyone else, scared about failing and worried about being liked.
#1. When you're a cleaner... you're not intimidated by pressure, you thrive on it.
Clutch is about the last minute. Relentless is about every minute.
To a Cleaner, relaxing is something weaker people do because they can't handle pressure.
A Cleaner doesn’t respond to external pressure, he puts the pressure back on the guy trying to get under his skin by refusing to acknowledge him. Remember, you don’t compete with anyone, you make them compete with you. You can control what you put on yourself; you can’t control what the other guy puts on you. So you focus only on the internal pressure that drives you. Run to it, embrace it, feel it, so no one else can throw more at you than you’ve already put on yourself.
Showing up unprepared, not putting in the work, blowing off commitments and obligations . . . that’s the stuff that creates pointless stress. You had the option to manage those things before they turned into negative situations. But when you’re faced with the stress of great challenges set before you—making the team, working for a raise, finishing a job, winning a championship—undeniable gifts are buried under all that pressure. Not everyone gets the opportunity to be stressed by the potential to achieve exceptional things.
#1. When you're a cleaner... when everyone is hitting the “in case of emergency” button, they're all looking for you.
A Cooler waits for you to tell him the plan. A Closer works on the plan, studies it, memorizes it, and knows exactly what he has to do. A Cleaner doesn’t want a specific plan; he wants every possible option available to him at all times.
I am 100 percent certain that if you bring me into any situation, I’m going to have a positive impact on you. There’s no way I’m going to show up and not be prepared, and not have something to offer you.
A Cooler takes no risks. A Closer takes risks when he can prepare in advance and knows the consequences of failing are minimal. Nothing feels risky to a Cleaner; whatever happens, he’ll know what to do.
You have to be willing to fail if you’re going to trust yourself to act from the gut, and then adapt as you go. That’s the confidence or swagger that allows you to take risks and know that whatever happens, you’ll figure it out. Adapt, and adapt again.
Being relentless means having the courage to say, “I’m going for this, and if I’m wrong, I’ll make a change and I’ll still be fine.” You can’t control or anticipate every obstacle that might block your path. You can only control your response, and your ability to navigate the unpredictable. Whatever happens, you have the smarts and skills to figure it out and arrive at the outcome you wanted in the first place.
And when I say “figure it out,” I don’t mean thinking about it for a week and asking everyone you know what they think. I mean immediately, instinctively, hearing that voice inside saying, “This way!” And you go.
A Cleaner feels no pressure when he screws up and has no problem admitting when he’s wrong and shouldering the blame: When a Cooler makes a mistake, he’ll give you a lot of excuses but no solutions. When a Closer makes a mistake, he finds someone else to blame. When a Cleaner makes a mistake, he can look you in the eye and say, “I fucked up.
Save us both the time. You fucked up. Say it. There is not a faster way to alleviate pressure. “Man, I fucked up.” Okay. There’s no comeback for that, you owned it. Now fix it. You can’t fix something unless you admit it.
Once you start blaming others, you’re admitting you had no control over the situation. And without that control, you can’t create a solution.
Create your own pressure to succeed, don’t allow others to create it for you. Have the confidence to trust that you can handle anything.
When you can laugh at yourself and not take every setback seriously, that’s confidence. On the other hand, when someone says something to you that you don’t like or you don’t want to hear, and you allow it to put pressure on you, even for a moment, that’s a confidence problem. When you’re confident, you don’t care about what others think; you can take your mistakes seriously but still laugh because you know you can and will do better.
That’s internal pressure at work, getting on yourself for something no one else would even notice and challenging yourself to get it right. Not because you have to, but because you want to.
Have the confidence to say when you’ve screwed up, and people will respect you for it.
The most successful people are those with the instincts to respond quickly to anything, without having to go back to the drawing board, watch more film, schedule a meeting, schedule a meeting to discuss what will be discussed at the meeting, or do any of the other countless things people do to put off making a decision.
That’s what Cleaners do, they ignore the panicking and complaining, they clean up the problem and they make it work.
A Closer will adjust himself to the situation; a Cleaner adjusts the situation to himself. A Closer has to know what he’s going to do. A Cleaner doesn’t; he never wants to be locked in to one plan.
He’ll know the original plan, and he’ll follow it if it feels right to him, but his skills and intuition are so great that he’ll usually improvise as he goes; he can’t help it. He just goes with the flow of the action, and wherever his instincts take him, that’s what you get.
#1. When you're a cleaner... you don't compete with anyone, you find your opponent's weakness and you attack.
A Cooler does a good job and waits for a pat on the back. A Closer does a good job and pats himself on the back. A Cleaner just does a good job, that’s his job.
When you’re the guy at the top, it’s on you to pull everyone else up there with you, or everything you’ve built comes crashing down. Not so easy for a Cleaner who demands excellence of himself and has no tolerance for those who can’t or won’t rise to that level.
It’s far more typical for stars to get aggravated and emotional when their teammates don’t show up, and then everyone falls apart because, as we’ve discussed, emotions make you weak, and all that emotional energy is completely destructive. But Michael never showed it inside the lines during a game. He always stayed positive, always had fun out there. After the game he was like Genghis Khan: he’d go after your balls and your head and everything in between. But during the game, while he was in that Zone, it was all about taking control, staying cool, and getting that end result.
You don’t have to like it, he said, but you’ll like the results.
No Michael, no relentless pressure, nobody holding them accountable and demanding unyielding excellence.
But don’t be fooled: a true Cleaner isn’t thinking about making you better for your benefit. He’s happy for you if you get something out of it, but whatever he’s doing, it’s for his sake, not yours.
A great leader knows the best way to get people to raise their performance is to put them where they can truly excel, not just where you want them to excel.
Successful people compensate for what they don’t have; unsuccessful people make excuses, blame everyone else, and never get past the deficiencies. A true leader can see past those deficiencies, identify the abilities, and get the most out of that individual.
A Cooler wonders what’s going to happen. A Closer watches things happen. A Cleaner makes things happen.
When you say something to an individual, and then you turn away before he can respond or make a comment back to you, you’re making your point, and you’re not letting him have his say. You have to see how someone reacts, so you know what’s coming next. Is his head down? Is he angry? Are you motivating him or doing the opposite? When you hit someone with a negative attack, it doesn’t energize him, it just brings him down. You’re not going to win these guys over by making them feel worthless.
#1. When you're a cleaner... you make decisions, not suggestions; you know the answer while everyone else is still asking questions.
What good is the drive on the inside? Where are the results?
Trust yourself. Decide. Every minute, every hour, every day that you sit around trying to figure out what to do, someone else is already doing it.
Instincts don’t recognize positive or negative. There’s only a situation, your response, and an outcome. If you’re ready for anything, you’re not thinking about whether it’s a good situation or a bad situation, you’re looking at the whole picture. And if you are thinking about it, you’re out of the Zone, distracted and wasting energy and emotion instead of focusing only on what you have to do. Thinking doesn’t achieve outcomes, only action does. Prepare yourself with everything you’ll need to succeed, then act. You don’t need a hundred people to back you up and be your safety net. Your preparation and your instincts are your safety net.
Good things come to those who wait. No, good things come to those who work.
Figure out what you do, then do it. And do it better than anyone else.
That’s how the best get better—they sweat the details.
#1. When you're a cleaner... you don't have to love the work, but you're addicted to the results.
A Cooler makes you wish you paid him less. A Closer asks how much and then decides how hard he’ll work. A Cleaner doesn’t think about the money; he just does the work and knows you’ll be grateful for the privilege of paying him.
It’s easy to improve on mediocrity, not so easy to improve on excellence.
Cleaner Law: when you reduce your competition to whining that you “got lucky,” you know you’re doing something right.
There are no shortcuts, and there is no luck.
It’s not about luck, I don’t believe in luck. There are facts and opportunities and realities, and how you respond to them determines whether you succeed or fail.
It doesn’t matter what you get handed, it’s what you do after you receive it that affords you the privilege of saying, “I did this on my own.”
You cannot understand what it means to be relentless until you have struggled to possess something that’s just out of your reach. Over and over, as soon as you touch it, it moves farther away. But something inside you—that killer instinct—makes you keep going, reaching, until you finally grab it and fight with all your might to keep holding on. Anyone can take what’s sitting right in front of him. Only when you’re truly relentless can you understand the determination to keep pursuing a target that never stops moving.
No question, those who are gifted get to the top faster than anyone else. So what? Is that your excuse for not reaching as high? The challenge is staying there, and most people don’t have the balls to put in the work. If you want to be elite, you have to earn it. Every day, everything you do. Earn it. Prove it. Sacrifice.
Cleaners don’t care about instant gratification; they invest in the long-term payoff.
Ask yourself honestly, what would you have to sacrifice to have what you really want? Your social life? Relationships? Credit cards? Free time? Sleep? Now answer this question: What are you willing to sacrifice? If those two lists don’t match up, you don’t want it badly enough.
For a lot of people, they don’t want the pressure and stress, they don’t want to sacrifice time with friends and family, they want to party when the mood strikes, sleep late when they can, and get up and go to bed with limited worries and responsibilities and pressure. I get that. It’s a much easier way to experience life. But usually, those are the same people who look around at others who have more success and say, “I can’t believe how lucky that guy is, I could do that if . . .” Stop. You could do that if . . . what? If you put in more time and effort? If you commit to whatever is making it work for him? If you’re willing to pay the price he’s paying? What’s he doing that you can’t do?
Don’t be jealous of someone if you had the same opportunity and you let it slip away.
It doesn’t take talent to work hard, anyone can do it. Show up, work hard, and listen. It takes a willingness to be dedicated, to improve, to be better.
Are you looking for that nonexistent shortcut, or are you ready to do things the right way? Do you want it easy, or do you want it great?
When you use your body for a living, you have one job and it requires one thing: work hard to stay in peak condition. That’s it. Protect your body and your skills, get in shape and stay that way. It’s a year-round commitment, not a hobby.
Privilege is a poison unless you know how to manage it.
Just work, because Michael Jordan knew better than anyone else that all the outside stuff was the result of hard work on the inside, not the other way around. Shoe deals and commercials don’t make you an icon. Being unstoppable makes you an icon. And being unstoppable only comes with hard work.
Your body is your tool, that’s what’s allowing you to do your job and get a contract and pay all these bills.
I’m going to show up ready to work every day, and I expect the same of you. So tell me the night before if you’re going out, if you’re not going to be worth anything the next day, so I know how to make my adjustments.
If I think you’re seriously fucking up, I will tell you. Otherwise, show me you care about your career and I’ll care as well.
Cleaner Law: When you’re going through a world of pain, you never hide. You show up to work ready to go, you face adversity and your critics and those who judge you, you step into the Zone and perform at that top level when everyone is expecting you to falter. That’s being a professional.
Do the work. There is no privilege greater than the pressure to excel, and no greater reward than earning the respect and fear of others who can only stand in awe of your results.
#1. When you're a cleaner... you'd rather be feared than liked.
A Cooler keeps his opinions to himself. A Closer will say what he thinks, but only behind your back. A Cleaner will tell you straight to your face what he thinks, whether you like it or not.
A Cooler is liked. A Closer is respected. A Cleaner is feared, and then respected for doing exactly what everyone feared he’d do.
The loudest guy in the room is the one with the most to prove, and no way to prove it.
When people start broadcasting what they’re going to do, and how great they’re going to be when they do it, it’s a sure sign they’re still trying to convince themselves. If you already know, you don’t have to talk about it. Talk never goes up in price, it’s always free, and you usually get what you pay for.
The way you conduct yourself in all areas of your life, your ability to show intelligence and class and self-control . . . those are the things that separate you from the rest of the pack.
When you’re the guy at the top, you show others how to act, you don’t drop down to their level. You command respect and make them measure up to your standards, not the other way around.
Kobe rarely goes out with teammates, he’d rather work out or watch game film. And he’d much rather have your respect than your friendship. Michael was the same, so was Bird. They relied on their small inner circles of trusted friends—not teammates—who didn’t need to be entertained or impressed, people who understood their role in the circle and who shared their friend’s vision of success.
When others have to fight you by flinging insults, you’ve already won; it means they have no idea how else to compete with you. Now you know they’re intimidated, and you can use it against them every time. The only people not intimidated are others just like you . . . and then it’s game on, let’s see what you got.
The greatest compliment to me is “He’s an asshole but he’s the best at what he does.” Thank you. There is no higher praise for a Cleaner. But then you’d better be the best at what you do, or you’re just an asshole. Can you back it up, or are you just posing?
Cleaner Law: the same guy who is worshipped as a cutthroat competitor is also the guy most likely to be called an asshole by everyone around him.
#1. When you're a cleaner... you trust very few people, and those you trust better never let you down
Coolers are afraid of the truth because they can’t deal with it. Closers dig for the truth and get upset when it’s not in their favor. Cleaners know when you’re lying and wait for the truth to show itself, knowing whatever it is, they’ll handle it.
No matter who you are, part of success means recognizing the people who can help you get where you want to go, putting all the best pieces in place. You have to surround yourself with people who can operate at your level of demanding excellence. You can’t be unstoppable, or even great, if you can’t do that. And it’s probably the hardest thing for a Cleaner to do.
A Cleaner views people as if they’re tools, each with unique, indispensable qualities. A hammer can destroy or it can build; a knife in the wrong hands can kill you, but in a doctor’s hands it can heal you. A wrench doesn’t do the job of a drill, it only does what a wrench is supposed to do. You’re only as good as the tools you’ve chosen, and your ability to use them to their maximum potential.
Cleaners rarely make changes just for the sake of change. What happens when you “shake things up” or “stir the pot”? You get random, unpredictable results. When someone is constantly changing everyone around him, the problem usually isn’t those being replaced; more likely, the problem lies with the guy who can’t figure out what he needs and wants.
You can’t make things better until you stop making things worse.
Most of the time when we ask for advice, we don’t want the truth. We want the answer we’re seeking. Be open to advice that goes against what you want.
Cleaner Law: surround yourself with those who want you to succeed, who recognize what it takes to be successful. People who don’t pursue their own dreams probably won’t encourage you to pursue yours; they’ll tell you every negative thing they tell themselves.
Cleaners trust few people; they’d almost always rather follow their instincts and fix the situation later if they’re wrong, than trust someone else and kick themselves for not listening to that voice inside. If a Cleaner screws up, he wants it to be because he did what he thought was right, not because he did what someone else told him to do.
When a Cooler speaks, you have doubts. When a Closer speaks, you listen. When a Cleaner speaks, you believe.
If I say something they don’t like—which is pretty often—it’s for their benefit. Always for them. If there’s a choice between being the asshole who tells them things are about to go bad, or the good buddy who lies to their faces and tells them everything is great, guess what: I’ll be the asshole who keeps them from failing. They’re used to people showering them with roses, and I’m bringing the thorns.
#1. When you're a cleaner... you don't recognize failure; you know there's more than one way to get what you want.
A Cooler accepts what he can’t do and gives up. A Closer recognizes what he can’t do but keeps working at it. A Cleaner knows what he can do and stays with it until he decides to do something else.
A Cleaner is done when he says he’s done, not when you say he’s done.
Failure is what happens when you decide you failed. Until then, you’re still always looking for ways to get to where you want to be.
Dealing with setbacks is how you achieve success. You learn, and you adapt. When everyone else is talking about how you “failed,” you show up like a professional, remap your course, and get back to work. That’s the progression of good-great-unstoppable. No one starts at unstoppable. You fuck up, you figure it out, you trust yourself.
Don’t try. Do.
You can be good by playing it safe. You can’t be relentless unless you’re willing to take chances. Safe makes you good, chances make you great.
#1. When you're a cleaner... you don't celebrate your achievements because you always want more.
A Cooler is first to arrive at the celebration and last to leave. A Closer will make an appearance, then go out with his own crew. A Cleaner just wants to get back to work.
Every dream you imagine, everything you see and hear and feel in your sleep, that’s not a fantasy, that’s your deep instinct telling you it can all be real. Follow those visions and dreams and desires, and believe what you know. Only you can turn those dreams into reality. Never stop until you do.
The greatest battles you will ever fight are with yourself, and you must always be your toughest opponent. Always demand more of yourself than others demand of you. Be honest with yourself, and you’ll be able to meet every challenge with confidence and the deep belief that you are prepared for anything. Life can be complicated; the truth is not.