How to respond when the dentist asks if you’ve been flossing
by Nino · 16 things on Twos
- “You should never ask a lady that.”
- “Why? Did someone say something?”
- “I can’t say that I haven’t not been flossing.”
- “Yes… Oh, my teeth? No.”
- “Are you going to put your hand in my mouth and feel around?”
- “I’m so glad you brought it up. Do you want to discuss this over a couple of root beers?”
- “Oh, I was going to ask you about that. I couldn’t remember if we were supposed to floss or supposed to not floss? It’s the first one, right?”
- “I lost all my floss in the Great Molasses Flood of 1919.”
- “I know that the second I open my mouth it’s going to be painfully obvious that I haven’t been, but I’m probably just going to say yes anyways and make the rest of this appointment weird and awkward for both of us.”
- “I’ve been meaning to start that for a while now. Do you recommend it? I’ll definitely put it on my list.”
- “I’m afraid my gums will slide off my teeth the way the meat slides off a rack of baby back ribs.”
- “Shauna told me I didn’t have to.”
- “What are you—the teeth police?”
- “Have you??? Yeah, I can tell. Your teeth look sublime.”
- “Logically, I understand that you’re only asking me this because you’re a dental professional trying to help me avoid things like cavities and gum disease and that you have no real stake in my answer, but I still can’t shake this deep-seated need I have to please you. So… yes?”
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