A post about how I have aged
by dmsh · 7 things on Twos
- We were looking back at old photos and videos of our ten year-old daughter this evening. She commented on one photo with me on, that I looked much younger. It was only ten years ago.
- I’m not that old. Am I? I am only 43. But I am older. Older in my thinking and my attitude. I guess part of that comes with life experience. We have certainly experienced a lot of “stuff” especially in the last six years.
- But my thinking and attitude has changed as, significantly, I have learned more about myself. It strikes me how little I knew about myself even just a couple of years ago. What’s even more striking is that I had *no idea* what I didn’t know about myself. I did know that I had a very hard time explaining myself or working myself out. But that’s as far as it went. I just accepted that to be the case and didn’t delve any further. I wouldn’t have known where to start anyway. So I guess I just floated through life, doing what needed to be done, and in most cases doing a pretty good job at it.
- That could have only taken me so far. It did only take me so far. It was forced upon me whereby I *had* to discover more about who I was.
- As I spend time reading around on the Internet it seems to me that many people who are younger than I am have already figured this kind of stuff out.
- But at the same time, I look around at people in my community, many of whom are older than me, and it seems that knowing who you are is actually quite rare. So many people live out of their false self. And they have no idea. I know that because that was me, just two years ago.
- I think I am getting closer to writing specifically about what brought about the change I went through a year ago. But it can wait.