Gentlemen,. I would like to welcome you to the first of two editions of the CPRs, or Culler's Power Rankings. With Commish busy running the very company that I am writing these all-important Things on, I generously offered to get us back on track with rankings this week as my Punishment for being the Emperor of Excrement last season. A second installment of CPRs will come later when Commish feels he can't handle his responsibilities that week. As I sit in my office listening to “Cool November Jazz ☕ Fall Jazz & Bossa Nova positive mood for work, study and relaxation“ I am debating between three routes for these rankings. 1. To be fair, 2. To be a troll, or 3. A little of both. Being that none of you really know me and it will likely remain that way until we Pool Down in Duval, I will do my best. Let's go.. Was Gabbert worth it? I can't have Jack anywhere but the top spot after he started off 2-0 and knocked off the defending champ in the process. This guy's team is STACKED with McCaffery on a competent team now. He did lose this week, but with OBJ on the bench I expect him to win out. Jaggin Off. The defending champ is 7-1, but as previously mentioned, his sole loss was to the above in week 2. This team is clearly dangerous having the 2nd most Points For, but they are also hiding behind the LEAST Points Against. We may be on thin ice watch with this crew. Stay tuned. Getting better (focused). Nobody look at me, I'm ugly. Just kidding, this team is sexy as fuck! I absolutely love what we have cooking over here. It's only right that I am fair and put myself at #3. However, with having the most Points For (by an amount some in this league could only dream of scoring) and 2nd most Points Against, I fully expect to write my troops in at the top the next time I'm called on for rankings. Russian Colluders. The Russians ran into the same buzz saw that only one team has been able to overcome since Playoff Lenny joined the boys in Week 3. That being said, they are colluding their way to a pretty balanced attack and a quality PF-PA ratio. This team could be one to watch just as they were much of last season. November 14, 2010. Matt has done well to stay at .500 with what really looks like scraps on paper. Nonetheless, he has Stinky Kirk somehow leading Kyle Pitts and Drake London into the playoffs as we stand now. It's a good thing the rest of the league doesn't see what goes on behind the scenes, otherwise they'd roast him for not accepting someone's (mine) Alvin Kamara for Drake London trade offer a few weeks back. He fights on. Ass ETN szn. What a tasteful team name! We absolutely love ETN, don't we? This group loves eating ass and not writing about my team. That's ok, we don't need the attention. Shame on them for the above and shame on them for not being over 1,000 Points For yet! It would only be right for Commish to make the playoffs, though. All jokes aside he has worked hard, day in and day out, to make sure we all have a good time. Let him at least watch his team lose in the first round. Jagsonville Jackuars. Our 4th 4-4 team chimes in at the #7 spot. This team is decent when you open things up and take a look. They've got two stellar running backs in Henry and Barkley, one consistent WR in McLaurin, and another WR in Gabe Davis who I'd like to nickname the Microwave Man. They may be a few above average weeks from the yoffs. Duval Deadheads. This is going to be controversial, but as I've shown before I tend to side with the eye test over record. They are fighting for their fucking life, man. I can't just follow the Sleeper rankings all the way down. I mean, these guys have over 1,000 Points For and THE MOST Points Against. They even have a smiling poop emoji next to their PA.. Could Sleeper be preparing us for who will become the Poop Boy 2.0? These guys may want to let Jesus take the wheel from here on out. LambosAttorney. The only team that hasn't bothered setting an avatar well into the 2nd season of the Duval Pool Boys league. Shameful. This team is all the wrong combinations of PF-PA ratio and not giving a flying fuck. I hope they can find a way to up the mojo moving forward, because it ain't working right now. Cumback King. Nothing to write home about here. YIKES. Yes, they've taken a beating, but these guys are shitting all over themselves despite having some star power. Cumback King, more like Erectile Dysfunction! They may be looking for a coaching change soon. The fat lady is somewhere warming up her vocals ready to sing this group off into oblivion. I was having a pretty shitty day, but writing these was therapeutic and cheered me right up. I can always thank y'all for that. Let's all stay competitive and busy on the waivers. Unless you play me, then you may as well save yourself the trouble. That concludes the first edition of the CPRs. I look forward to filling in for Commish once again when the time is right! Have a great afternoon and night.