Nina's story (without a Second Brain)
by Swagman · 8 things on Twos
- Nina wakes up on Monday morning, and before her eyes even open, thoughts are flooding her brain. Things to do, things to think about, things to decide. It all comes rushing in from the depths of her subconscious, where it’s been simmering all weekend.
- Nina’s thoughts continue to swirl around her brain as she gets ready for work. Like jittery birds, they flit and flutter around her head because they have nowhere else to rest. There is a constant hum of background anxiety that she has come to expect, as she wonders what needs her attention and what she may be missing.
- After a hectic morning, Nina finally sits down at her desk to start her workday, opens up her email inbox, and is instantly engulfed by a torrent of new messages. Flashing with urgent subject lines and the names of important senders, these demands fill her with a cold adrenaline rush. She knows that her morning is shot, her own plans ruined. Pushing aside the important work she wanted to focus on this morning, Nina settles in for a long slog of replying to emails.
- By the time she gets back from lunch, Nina is finally done handling the most urgent issues. It’s finally time to focus on the priorities she’s set for herself. This is when the reality sets in: after a morning spent fighting fires, she’s far too scatterbrained and tired to focus. Like so many times before, Nina lowers her expectations, settling for chipping away slowly at her ever- expanding to-do list full of other people’s priorities.
- After work, Nina has one last chance to work on the project that she knows will make use of her talents and take her career to the next level. She exercises, eats dinner, and spends some quality time with the kids. As they go to bed, she’s filled with enthusiasm that she finally gets some time to herself.
- She sits down at the computer, and the questions begin: “Where did I leave off last time? Where did I put that file? Where are all my notes?”
- By the time Nina gets set up and ready to go, she’s far too tired to make real progress. This pattern repeats itself day after day. After enough of these false starts, she starts to give up. Why even try? Why keep attempting to do the impossible? Why resist the temptation to watch another Netflix episode or scroll through social media? Without the time and energy to move things decisively forward, what’s the point of starting?
- Nina is a competent, responsible, and hardworking professional. Many people would feel privileged to be in her shoes. There’s nothing wrong with the work she does or the life she leads, yet underneath the respectable exterior, there is something missing. She isn’t meeting her own standards for what she knows she’s capable of. There are experiences that she wants for herself and her family that seem to continuously get postponed, waiting for “someday” when somehow she will have the time and space to make them happen.