Getting to Yes by Roger Fisher
by Parker · 16 things on Twos
- Based on the principled negotiation method developed at the Harvard Negotiation Project
- Look for mutual gains wherever possible, and where interests collide, insist that the result be based on some fair standards independent of the will of either side
- Don’t take a position
- Separate the people from the problem
- Focus on interests, not positions
- Generate a variety of possibilities before deciding what to do
- Invent options for mutual gain
- Insist that the result be based on some objective standard
- Put yourself in their shoes to see their perspective
- Even if blaming is justified, it is usually counterproductive. Under attack, the other side will become defensive and will resist what you have to say
- Listening enables you to understand their perceptions, feel their emotions, and hear what they are trying to say
- Basic human needs include: security, economic well-being, a sense of belonging, recognition, control over one’s life
- Make a list: to sort out the various interests of each side, it helps to write them down as they occur to you. This will not only help you remember them; it will also enable you to improve the quality of your assessment as you learn new information and to place interests in their estimated order of importance. Furthermore, it may stimulate ideas for how to meet these interests
- Talk about your interests and make them come alive
- Invite them to state their reasoning, suggest objective criteria you think apply, and refuse to budge except on this basis. Never yield to pressure, only to principle
- Ask questions. Statements generate resistance, whereas questions generate answers