Week 8
by Joe · 47 things on Twos
- Gentlemen, we are officially half way into our inaugural season and I couldn’t be more proud. Y’all play to win the game, stay active in the chat, and bring a healthy dose of smack talk that any commish would be thrilled to have.
- Don’t let the halfway point diminish any of your playoff hopes (even if you’re Team Jystephens). It is, and will continue to be, a tight race in which only one of us can be called inaugural champion.
- For this weeks power rankings I will be leaning into something we all have in common, irrational love for the Jacksonville Jaguars.
- Let’s rank some teams…
- 10. Team Jystephens
- Jack's team lost by a demoralizing 0.5 points on Sunday contributing to his 5 game losing streak thanks to a god-awful performance by Dalvin Cook (who is now the #30 back in the league).
- Team Jystephens reminds me of Justin Blackmon. Touted as a top prospect coming into the season, given time to develop, but has proven himself to be nothing but a clown. Stay off the weed, Jacky.
- 9. Intentional Pounding
- Matt's team was on the winning side of the 0.5 point game this week largely due to Joe Mixon finally showing up and Aaron Jones being a PPR machine.
- That does not mean that Matt's team is *good* however. This is why Team Intentional Pounding reminds me of Taven Bryan. Just good enough to keep his head above water but everyone knows he stinks and is waiting to be cut.
- 8. Meta
- Team Meta, formerly known as Team Born Agnew, formerly known as Team DJ Shart Jr, lost again to powerhouse Team Energy Vampire.
- While luck of the draw was a huge reason Team Meta lost this week, he is now in a 4 game losing slide and looking more like Team Beta.
- Jake's team reminds me of Rashaad Green. Who? You may be asking yourself. Exactly.
- 7. Joey Freshwater
- Y'all know i'm not a big "I told you so" kind of guy but I could smell a win for the commish from a mile away. Especially when two of your starters lay goose eggs and TY Hilton gets blasted into next week.
- Team Joey Freshwater lost by a mere 2.16 pts and now finds himself back on the lower end of the totem pole.
- This team is comparable to Blake Bortles. Gets a win here or there, has an obvious "cool" factor, but when all is said and done - can't keep up with the big dogs.
- 6. Culler Rush
- Team Culler Rush lost in a BIG way to the Duval Deadheads this week and is now facing a two game losing streak.
- What seemed like a guaranteed playoff spot for Culler is now hanging in the balance especially with his #1 pick Derrick Henry being placed on IR.
- Culler's team is like Gardner Minshew. Started hot, got everyone to believe, but is not worth much more than a 6th round pick. Let's see if he can turn his season around and become a conditional 5th.
- 5. Duval Deadheads
- As previously mentioned, the Duval Deadheads had a big win this week and is starting to right his ship towards a deep playoff run.
- With DK and Lockett making Geno look like a QB1 (thanks Jags D) this team can and will be a threat in the months to come.
- The Duval Deadheads remind me of Telvin Smith. When he's not getting into trouble, he's pretty good and we should probably keep eyes on him.
- 4. Team JihadWardDPOY
- I would've loved to keep Team JihadWardDPOY in the bottom of the standings but considering his choice to participate this week, I must give them their earned respect.
- While Team JihadWard may have lost in week 8 to our #1 overall team No Time for Stalin, they are #back as legit contenders with an overall record of 5-3. A lot of players fell short of their expectations but projections are for suckers.
- This Team is like Jalen Ramsey. At the core, he is a disgusting human being who should be shamed for the stain he has left on the organization - but on the outside, he's a B+ player.
- 3. Call me commish
- I don't write these emails just to inflate my ego, quite the contrary. I use them to give you all an opportunity to prove me wrong, which simply has not happened in the last 4 weeks.
- Coming into Monday it was on the shoulders of Darrell Williams and Pretty Boy Kelce to secure me the win and win we did.
- This team can only be compared to that of Paul Posluzny. Leader, hard worker, and does his job.
- Big matchup with playoff implications against the Deadheads this week.
- 2. Jaggin Off
- When I told y'all last week that Team Jaggin Off has been league leader in points 3/7 times did you believe he would do it again? I sure as hell didn't.
- What seemed to be a garbage season by a garbage team has now become the team to beat. Josh Allen is #good, Jonathan Taylor is #good and Team Jaggin Off is #good.
- What will he do now that Josh is playing the Jaguars this week and fresh off the Manning Cast curse? We shall see.
- This team is like that of Trevor Lawrence. Started somewhat slow, still has a lot of promise ahead of him, and committed for the long haul.
- No Time 4 Stalin
- It's starting to get difficult to keep coming up with things to say about Team No Time 4 Stalin. Now at 7-1, no sign of slowing down, and king of the waivers, Dimitriy is saying fuck you to all us Jags fans with his quiet domination.
- This team is like the great Fred Taylor. Humble, motivated, and running through this league like diarrhea on a Monday morning.
- Looking at a Week 1 bye in the playoff bracket, unless someone can dethrone him.
- Go Jags, beat the bills, and until next week.
- Love,
- Joe