Funny Tweet Ideas
by Joe · 13 things on Twos
- ✓ Every time I’m on a run and I stop at a crosswalk I take the opportunity to show off my body like a billboard
- ✓ Every time my email password resets at work, I have a brief panic attack that I was fired
- ✓ Just found out my wife and kids are cake and I’m fucking devastated
- If you’re on dating apps you know most people are fat
- ✓ AirBnb: Def in the hood, but so cute
- Ask yourself, have you actually ever seen a girls belly button?
- What’s the point of boarding groups if nobody is in groups 2-6?
- It’s probably not the best that I just passed a billboard displaying the largest collection of PPE in Dallas and that is good for personal pleasure equipment, a sex shop. 
- I miss when we only evacuated the dance floor bc people were infected by the sound
- Editing episode 18 of Twos Talk now and we would be silly not to share a pic about something we talk about in this episode - last night's chicky chicky parm parm. @TwosJoe will make a recipe in Twos soon and share it with the world.
- My Apple Watch needs to mind it’s own business when it asks if I’ve finished my workout. It’s called an extended break - ever heard of it?
- I have a confession, I love the new Applebees commercial
- People say “THE Clemson University” like there’s another college for milking cows