Chade-Meng Tan. Emotional intelligence is the ability to monitor one's own and other's feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them, and to use this information to guide one's thinking and actions.. The moment you can see an emotion, you are no longer fully engulfed in it.. While we can’t stop an unwholesome thought or emotion from arising, we have the power to let it go.. “What lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are tiny matters to what lies within us.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson. Happiness is a deep sense of flourishing that arises from an exceptionally healthy mind... not a mere pleasurable feeling, a fleeting emotion, or a mood, but an optimal state of being, a profound emotional balance struck by a subtle understanding of how the mind functions.. Self-awareness depends on being able to see ourselves objectively, and that requires the ability to examine our thoughts and emotions from a third-person perspective, not getting swept up in emotion, not identifying with it, but just seeing it clearly and objectively. This requires a stable and clear, non-judging attention.. A relaxed mind is conducive to creative thinking.. Self-awareness is knowledge of one's internal states, preferences, resources, and intuitions.. When your meta-attention becomes strong, you will be able to recover wandering attention quickly and often, and if you recover attention quickly and often enough, you create the effect of continuous attention, which is concentration.. “Look within; within is the fountain of all good.” - Marcus Aurelius. Happiness is the default state of mind. Happiness is not something you pursue; it is something you allow.. We are not our emotions. Emotions are what we feel.. Empathy is an awareness of other's feelings, needs, and concerns.. Mindfulness is keeping one's consciousness alive to the present reality.. “One can have no smaller or greater mastery than mastery of oneself.” - Leonardo da Vinci. Self-regulation is the management of one's internal states, impulses, and resources.. Mindfulness is paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally.. The most precious gift we can offer others is our presence.. “If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.“ - Marcus Aurelius. Attention is the basis of all higher cognitive and emotional abilities.. Motivation is the emotional tendency that guides or facilitates reaching goals.. Social skills are the ability to induce desirable responses in others.. When you are triggered, stop, breathe, notice, reflect, and respond.. Neuroplasticity is the idea that what we think, do, and pay attention to changes the structure and function of our brains.. “Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space lies our freedom and our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our happiness.” - Viktor Frankl. “You can make more friends in two months by becoming really interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you. Which is just another way of saying that the way to make a friend is to be one.” - Dale Carnegie. People who are optimistic feel that setbacks are temporary, are isolated to particular circumstances, and can eventually be overcome by effort and ability.. Compassion is a mental state endowed with a sense of concern for the suffering of others and aspiration to see that suffering relieved.. People want to be inspired. Every aspiration of service we have and every act of charity we perform inspires others.. According to neuroscience, even before events happen, the brain has already made a prediction about what is most likely to happen.. “You have to expect things of yourself before you can do them.” - Michael Jordan. You can influence people most effectively when you help people achieve what they want in a way that also helps you and simultaneously serves the greater good.. “Whatever one frequently thinks and ponders upon, that will become the inclination of his mind.” - The Buddha. The first rule of influence is that we all already have it. Everything we do or don’t do, and everything we say or don’t say, has an effect on other people.. It’s much easier to achieve something if you can visualize yourself already achieving it.. True motivation comes from autonomy (the urge to direct our own lives), mastery (the desire to get better and better at something that matters), and purpose (the yearning to do what we do in service of something larger than ourselves).. World peace can and must be created from the inside out.. “With all this socially engaged work, first you must learn what the Buddha learned, to still the mind. Then you don’t take action; action takes you.” - Thich Nhat Hanh. The mind is normally in a constant state of agitation. With deep mental relaxation and alertness, the mind settles into calmness and clarity. In this mind, inner happiness naturally emerges.